it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
