We won't sleep together?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize