I wanna bring you to show and tell
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
