I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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