Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
