You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
