The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
