is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
