I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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