Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
bring money and cleavage
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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