Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
