1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
