i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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