this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
