Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
