He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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