Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
