Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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