My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
