It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
