Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Panties = found
Randomize
