if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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