I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
