I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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