what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
