She is in my trunk
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
