I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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