what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
