Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
