dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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