GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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