I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
