I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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