so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
