Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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