I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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