Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
