what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
