just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
