Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just high enough for therapy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
