The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
