I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
