can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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