There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
