everyone is single if you try hard enough
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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