I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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