I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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