i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They took my balls.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
