i barfeds in our rink
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
