I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
