Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
