I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
